Tuesday 23 February 2016
100 WC week 8
.Goggles.
"Tara!" Maggie yelled.
Have you seen my green goggles? Swimming is in half an hour, and I can't go without them.
"Well," Tara started, I think I saw mom with them in her purse when she went to go get gas.
"No, I saw that to, it was just her green dancer card" Maggie replied back.
"There most likely to be in your bag!" Tara yelled back.
Maggie reached into her bag, and tryed to feel the goggles.
"There not here!" Maggie whined.
She slumped down in the couch where Tara was watching The Walking Dead.
"Ugh Tara, how do you watch this stuff?"
Right when Tara turned to reply, she saw in obviousness what Maggie was looking for. She yanked them off her head and said "found them, ya dummy" showing Maggie the goggles in her hand.
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I love the story it made me laugh at the end plot twist. You should try to pay a bit more attention to periods. You missed one in the end dialogue.
ReplyDeleteYou start off having quotations marks when someone is speaking but miss the send set of quotation marks when they speak again. Don't forget when you use 'to' to replace also it should be too. Not the right use of obviousness I think you might find a better word choice. Great elements to a story just some things to work on that will help improve your writing. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteI like your story it's really funny and good punctuation.
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